Fodder for conversation at the holiday dinner table

Ya know, every time I start saying I'll spend less, that's exactly when I start spending more. Whether the computer crashes (argh!$$$), or the car needs to go to the garage, or the cat needs to go to the vet. Still, I'm doing what I did the last couple of recessions: chuck the Fidelity and Northwestern statements into the green bin, keep contributing, and save what I can. I keep thinking next fall will be a good time for my long overdue trip to Ireland. Hope springs eternal. Cheers,

Oh, one silver lining: now's a good time to refinance the mortgage. Thank god I did 30 year fixed in the first place.

WALL STREET BAIL OUT WONDERLAND
(Winter Wonderland)
WilliamBanzai7

Opening Bells ring, are you listening,
On the Street, the snow job is glistening
An ignoble sight,
We're happy tonight,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

Gone away is the old bird,
Here to stay is a new bird
He sings an opprobrious song,
As we go along,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

We can go and eulogize a subprime snowman,
Then pretend that he is Madoff the clown
He'll say: Whats my carry?
We'll say: None man,
But you can always do a fleece job
In Ponzi town.

Later on, we'll all conspire,
As we dream of not being fired
To face unafraid,
The new scams that we'll make,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

In the meadow we can build another financial snowman,
And pretend that he's an SEC circus clown
We'll have lots of fun shtuping mister snowman,
Until the markets inevitably knock him down.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,
To aim the hose while pyramiding
We'll frolic and play, the old fraudulent banker way,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGS (WALL STREET VERSION)

(My Favorite Things, Revised by WilliamBanzai7)

Bankers and brokers, quants, accountants and securitization lawyers;
Greek lettered formulas and OTC screens;
Toxic assets repackaged and tied up with lots of Ponziesque strings;
These are a few of my least favorite things.

Red power ties, pinstripes and suspenders;
Opening bells, black boxes and management fees by the oodles;
Hedge funds that fly like black swans with the moon on their wings;
These are a few of my least favorite things.

Madoff and Blankfein, Fuld, Cayne, Mack, Thain, Pandit all them Wall Street smart a$$es;
Those flakes are one and the same don't let them manage your assets;
Hubristic CEOS who melt shareholder net worth into huge bonus schemes;
These are a few of my least favorite things.

When the dog bites,
When the bee stings,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my least favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.